Last week, we did a deep dive into trauma triggers – what are they? How are they activated?

Well, it turns out that the one of the easiest and most effective ways of managing our trauma triggers is something that we do every day – something that is so automatic for most of us that we don’t need to even think about it. It’s our breath. That got me thinking about the question:

Where in my day can I pause and breathe — on purpose?

I’m halfway through my day. My shoulders are tense. My mind is darting between the last email I sent, the next meeting on my calendar, and a dozen unfinished tasks. I’m on a tense phone call and I realize I haven’t taken a full, conscious breath in hours.

Sound familiar?

Most of us breathe all day long without ever noticing it. Our breath happens automatically — an involuntary miracle. But what we often forget is that while we don’t have to think about breathing, we can. And when we do, the benefits are profound. Reclaiming your breath is not about becoming a yoga master or forcing calm when you're overwhelmed. It's about returning to something you always carry — your breath — as a source of choice, presence, and healing.

Why Breath Awareness Matters

Breath is the bridge between the body and the mind. It’s also one of the few bodily functions that is both automatic and voluntary — meaning we can breathe without thinking, but we also have the ability to change our breath pattern at will.

And that’s where the magic lies.

When we’re anxious, angry, or afraid, our breath naturally becomes shallow, rapid, and chest-based — part of our body's built-in stress response. This fast breathing is a signal to the brain: There’s danger. Mobilize. The heart rate increases. The muscles tense. The body prepares to act — to fight, flee, or freeze.

But here’s the empowering part: we can reverse that process.

When we intentionally slow and deepen the breath, we send a message back to the nervous system: It’s okay to settle. You’re safe now. The heart rate slows. Muscles relax. The prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and empathy — comes back online.

This is not just theory. It’s neurobiology.

What Happens in the Brain and Body

When we’re in a stress state, the sympathetic nervous system is activated — the fight-or-flight response. Breathing becomes short and quick, especially in the upper chest. This signals the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, to stay on alert.

Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that helps us think clearly, plan ahead, and regulate emotion — gets less blood flow. That’s why you might struggle to think straight when you’re anxious or reactive. The body has prioritized survival over strategy. But when we slow down the breath, especially the exhale, we engage the parasympathetic nervous system, specifically the vagus nerve, which tells the body: You’re safe now.

Long, deep breaths increase oxygen, stimulate vagal tone, and help us shift from reactivity to response. Breath regulation doesn’t make hard things disappear — but it does equip us to meet them with more presence, perspective, and groundedness.

Breathing as a Daily Practice

So where in your day can you pause and breathe — on purpose? The answer doesn’t have to be complicated.

• Before opening your inbox
• After ending a Zoom call
• Sitting in traffic
• Standing in line
• While your coffee brews
• Right before you walk into a difficult conversation
• As the last thing you do before bed

Each pause becomes a moment of micro-repair — a way to interrupt the cycle of urgency and return to yourself. Let’s explore a few practical ways to regulate the breath — and what makes each one effective. These are not prescriptions, but invitations. You may love one and dislike another. That’s okay. Breath practices are deeply personal. The goal is not perfection — it’s presence.

1. Box Breathing (4–4–4–4)

What it is:
 Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a simple and structured technique where you inhale, hold, exhale, and hold again — all for equal counts.

How to do it:

1. Inhale for 4 seconds
2. Hold for 4 seconds
3. Exhale for 4 seconds
4. Hold for 4 seconds
   Repeat for 4–6 cycles

Why it works:
This method helps regulate the autonomic nervous system by balancing oxygen and carbon dioxide. The pauses between breaths calm the body’s alert system and give your brain a focus point, making it especially helpful for anxiety or racing thoughts.

When to use it:

• Before a presentation or public speaking
• After a triggering interaction
• To prepare for sleep

Note:
 Some people find the breath holds uncomfortable. If that’s you, skip the holds and try even-count inhales and exhales instead.

2. Extended Exhale (Inhale 4, Exhale 6–8)

What it is:
This practice emphasizes a longer exhale than inhale, which helps directly stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.

How to do it:

1. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
2. Exhale through your mouth for 6–8 seconds
3. Pause and repeat 5–10 times

Why it works:
 A long exhale slows the heart rate and helps discharge excess tension. It mimics the body’s natural sigh of relief and tells the nervous system that it’s okay to settle.

When to use it:

• During conflict resolution
• When trying to “come down” from stress
• As a daily evening ritual

Note:
 You can visualize tension leaving the body with each exhale or silently say to yourself, “Let go.”

3. Hand on Heart and Belly Breathing

What it is:
 This breath practice combines intentional breathing with touch-based grounding. It's especially useful for trauma-informed regulation and gentle self-soothing.

How to do it:

1. Place one hand on your heart and one on your stomach
2. Inhale through your nose and feel your stomach rise under your hand
3. Exhale through your mouth and feel your stomach fall
4. Continue for 1–2 minutes, focusing on the rise and fall

Why it works:
 Touch helps bring awareness back to the body. When paired with breath, it can regulate the vagus nerve and foster a sense of internal safety. It's also incredibly supportive for moments when emotions are close to the surface.

When to use it:

• After receiving hard news
• During moments of self-doubt or shame
• Any time you need to say to yourself, “I’m here.”

4. Breath + Mantra

What it is:
This technique pairs the rhythm of breath with simple, calming words. It anchors the mind while regulating the body — a fusion of breathwork and mindfulness.

How to do it:
 Choose a two-part phrase that resonates with you, such as:

• Inhale: I am safe | Exhale: I am here
• Inhale: Breathe in calm | Exhale: Breathe out tension
• Inhale: This is hard | Exhale: And I am okay

Repeat this silently or out loud for a few minutes, linking the phrases with your natural breath cycle.

Why it works:
 Mantras provide focus and reassurance. When the mind has something simple and kind to repeat, it has less space for fear-based narratives.

When to use it:

• When transitioning between tasks
• During early morning or bedtime routines
• When your inner critic is loud

Breath Isn’t Always Easy — And That’s Okay

A note of care: not everyone feels safe deepening their breath, especially those with a trauma history. For some, slowing the breath can initially create discomfort, dizziness, or even panic.

If you notice resistance, you’re not doing it wrong — you’re noticing, and that’s a powerful first step.

You might begin by simply observing your breath without trying to change it. Or try a technique that focuses on rhythm rather than depth. Some people find more comfort in movement-based grounding (like walking or swaying) before engaging the breath. Your breath is yours. You get to decide how and when to return to it.

Reclaiming Breath is Reclaiming Choice

When we reclaim our breath, we’re not just regulating our nervous system — we’re reclaiming our agency.

We’re saying:
 I may not control this moment, but I can control my response to it.
 I can pause. I can feel. I can return.

Over time, breath awareness builds capacity. It increases our window of tolerance, helping us stay more present in difficult moments and more connected in joyful ones. It reduces reactivity. It enhances clarity. It improves emotional and relational flexibility.

In short: breath helps us be more ourselves — in the moments that matter most.

A Final Reflection

So I’ll leave you with this:

Where in your day can you pause and breathe — on purpose?

Not as a task. Not to check it off.  But as a kindness. As a reset. As a return.

Maybe it’s while waiting for your tea to steep.
Maybe it’s before answering that email.
Maybe it’s in the car with your hand on your chest.
Maybe it’s the soft sigh you release before sleep.

One breath at a time — you come back.
 To your body. To your mind. To your life.

You don’t have to breathe perfectly.
 You just have to remember you can.

This Week’s Practice: Reclaiming My Breath

This week, I’m giving myself permission to pause — not just when things feel chaotic, but as a rhythm of care woven into my day. My goal isn’t to “fix” my breathing or force stillness. It’s simply to notice. To return. To reclaim.

Here’s what that will look like for me:

• I’m placing a sticky note on my desk with the phrase: “Breathe on purpose.” Just those three words. A cue to shift from autopilot into presence.
• I’ll begin and end each day with one minute of intentional breath — placing my hand on my heart and belly, closing my eyes, and letting the exhale be longer than the inhale. Bookends of calm.
• Before every transition — from one task to the next, one meeting to the next, one space to the next — I’ll pause for a single breath and choose a mantra:
  “I am safe.”
  “This is a reset.”
  “I can return.”
• I’ll track how it feels. Not with judgment, but with curiosity. Does it shift anything in my body? In my thinking? In my energy?

This isn’t about controlling my breath every moment of the day. It’s about remembering I have access to it. That no matter how scattered or tense I feel, I can always come home — one breath at a time. If you’d like to join me this week, try this: choose one moment in your day to anchor with breath. Maybe it’s while your tea brews, or just before you open your inbox. No perfection needed. Just awareness. Just you.

You’re allowed to take a breath.
You’re allowed to come back.
You’re allowed to begin again — as many times as it takes.

📆 The Weekly Flow

Here’s what this week looks like in the #MyPeacein50 rhythm:

• Monday → This blog goes live
• Tuesday–Thursday → I’ll share prompts, quotes, and practices on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook
• Friday → I’ll post a short video reflecting on how the practice actually went (the messy, human version)

You’re invited to join in any way that feels right:

• Quietly follow
• Share using #MyPeacein50
• Try one walk — even just around the block
• Or download the free Calm Calendar for extra support

💛 What I’m Loving This Week
• Sound: The sound of my own exhale — longer, slower, softer. It’s become a quiet reminder that I can let go.
• Practice: Pausing between tasks to place my hand on my heart and belly. Just one intentional breath before moving on. It’s changing how I carry my day.
• Tool: A sticky note on my laptop: “Breathe on purpose.” Three simple words pulling me out of autopilot.
• Quote: “You don’t have to breathe perfectly. You just have to remember you can.” — from this week’s blog.
• Song: “Just Breathe” – Pearl Jam. A soulful reminder to slow down and honor this breath, this moment.